I have been menstruating for three days. I skipped our league playoffs for volleyball because I needed blood drawn. It was heartbreaking. I wanted to beat Cal Poly so BAD! There's always next year I suppose but they didn't even beat Saint Mary's without me... D:> FAIL
Yesterday I had this really upsetting dream. For once I had a sexual dream of guys a while ago and it made me so happy. I was convinced that I was straight FOR SURE. But because of my dream yesterday, I am confused once again. I had a fantasy about someone who I never thought would be back in my life. It was prolly brought up because one of my teammates is her cousin. That's right, one of my teammates is ALEXIS WONG's cousin. D:> In the dream I was at a hotel or something and I returned to the group but there was someone waiting for me there. Apparently, Alexis came over and was waiting to "kiss and tell me how she really felt about me" D:> Old memories. OMIGOD. IT HURT. In the dream, we got really hot kissing. My body really wanted her. But then I stopped it because I didn't know whether I really loved her or not. I can't remember if in my past I ever said I loved her or if I kissed her at all. WTF. Memories suck sometimes...
I miss my friends. I just got a new phone and some new music. Things have kept pretty interesting. I love roleplaying with my buddies. I look forward to it everyday. XD I also got some more money so I'm okay. I plan to go back home for the weekend of the 13th. I have been texting the guy I like to get to know him better so it is going well. Haha. My brother thinks of me as a best friend, which is amazing! HAhAHA! I am slowly getting back to a good diet. I will get everything together soon XD
Bah, I don't want my birthday to come. I want to be older but I don't want a day where people tell me"Happy Birthday" bah.... I mean, it's okay when it's my best friends but strangers and roommates, I don't want that crap. I don't want outside family members telling me it either. DX Bleck.
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Fragmented Self who wanders through life like a dreamer and wades through the river of dreams as though it were the only truth left in this world
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