Moment in time: October 30th 2010.
11:06Am currently.
I don't know. I feel some strangeness, Being a schoolgirl for Halloween, the skirt is going to drive me crazy...
So, Boyfirend and I sare slowly getting closer, and close, then.. bonk xD
We get at each other's throats alot, but I guess you could say we do it because we care..
What I hate is how my brain doesn't let me forget, forget old pains and old sorrows, the wounds of my heart that never healed properly, searing with pain.
When I'm with him, it's fine.. it's when I'm alone, when all I hear in my head are the others... my own thoughts, everything jumbling together as I struggle to focus.
Makes me wonder, How quiet my mind might be, if things were different.
But I like them anyway, they help me through alot.
I have a lively Night of Rocky Horror Picture Show tonight. Starting at 12 AM but I'm hoping to get to the Doors around 10, due to the fact that they sold out yesterday night, err earlier this morning..
Yeah, so recently I've been writing alot... poems and such.. I've come to a bit of writer's block.My drawing skills are also withering away to nothing, slowly.
So lately, I've been getting to be closer friends with a friend of my mates, and he believes that I'm going to leave him for his friend... I wouldn't do that to him.
The mate and I have been together for damn near a year. 10 months.
(November 5, 2010 will be 11)
My mind has been wheeling with thoughts of life, death, love and heartbreak in the past pew days... let us see what I have come up with so far.
1.Life:Worth it to some, but not to most. People believed themselves damned on this earth, and it's always people with great lives. The mind tells itself we have no reason to life, when, somewhere down the line we do, we will.
I know no one's destiny is perfectly thought out... but there's always a reason. A deathly reason, a loving choice, an aim and the pull of the trigger. Life is selfless, you just breathing could make someones day a miracle.
2.Death Ultimately the only way we have out, isn't it? No reason to avoid it. No point in trying to live forever, because we can't. We aren't supposed to either. Suicide, commits youto the Hell you might not believe, but it leaves up free from the sin of life. Shall our only reason to live, be to die?
3.Love: The ultimate reason, the daring rush and amazing thrill. Mind you it's nothing like in the old movies anymore, the look and you realize that's who you want to be with forever. It's all about close body contact, the kissing the hugging, the makeouts, the sex. The lust has gotten control of our ultimate thrill, love.
The romance is gone, the chivalry is dead. It's luck to get a man who doesn't need to kiss you everyday to know you love him, and that he loves you. But love is forever, taking all teasts and tearing them, running through all the barriers and climbing the tallest walls. [Love: The lack of bloodflow to your legs from standing at attention for your girl's dad for three hours.]
You'll eventually find the one person that completes you, that wouldn't change you for the world. The one that lets you talk like you, the one that watches over you while you sleep.. the one who begs you to hold them so they know nothing can pry you away. Love, the ultimately selfish act, with a selfless front put to make them stay, just because you can't live without them..
Fourth and Final. Heartbreak: The end, the ripping of a soul. I can't think of much to say except: Inevitable. Even if you're with someone who would never hurt you... it'll happen sometime...
Love sentences you to this. Life will bring you this,
see you.
Xx_Jinxxed_Forever_xX Community Member 
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