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I should have written an entry yesterday but I didn't. It would have been simple. Only five words "I'm so proud of you." I cried as I was walking back from the meeting but while in the meeting I was strong. I was so strong. Oh, you should have seen it. When I think about it, it makes my eyes water. I don't think I said anything before but Chisai was missing up till yesterday. I don't know where she went but she came back. She said I had to do it alone. I had to figure out there was a problem and solve it without her. [/ laugh] It's a little harder to figure it out when your logical side goes missing and the emotional side turns into an uncontrollable mess ^^"

My sketchbook is due Thursday and I don't want to give it to her. I've grown really attached to it, even though I haven't even finished. Bah, I won't even begin to talk about school right now. It would ruin my happiness and the proud moment. I've also gotten a lot done that I needed to do for my roleplays. It may not seem like much to you but for me that's huge. I've been out of the mood and rhythm for a while now so it's groundbreaking that I can hop back in now. XD [/ prances] I still need to work on Mafia but I have a feeling when the time is right I'll spur that one onward. Right now my mind is really worried about Guilty Hearts for the strangest of reasons. I'm sure it's just my paranoid mind up to its usual.

Uh- I'm kinda forgetting what I really wanted to write about. Oh! I got a new hairstyle and turns out this is my 900 set so after this is done we only have one more, which will only really have fifty since I will be resurrecting the lost set and finishing it.

There are a lot more people viewing my journal but I suppose that could be because I am friends with a lot of people on here and they receive the notice? I dunno. Maybe I've got stalkers XD People in my threads stalk all of my other threads and that's really cute. I don't think I would want a real life stalker but a digital one might be nice. XD Cause I'm silly like that. I dunno, there's something about the way I act online that makes me feel like it's my real self. Especially with the troubles I have in real life, it's my comfort place. It's really sad to admit but when I was walking back from that meeting I was so proud of, which I was talking about in the beginning of this entry, all I could think about was how much I wanted to journal on here about it. XD I didn't want to call anyone or say it out loud, I only wanted to write it online. I am so proud of myself.

Oh! I remember now, I wanted to mention that I haven't been able to remember my dreams since coming back to SF. It's really weird cause I was able to remember every dream when I was back home and they were really amazing every night but here, there's nothing. Maybe I have more brain activity back home because I don't feel free to express myself? I certainly don't go online often when I'm back home. But those who have met my family would understand why that's so impossible. My brother now even hates when I sit around for long hours. He pesters me all the time "what are we going to do today" or "wanna go on a walk." He gets PISSED when we watch television XD but movies calm me down and keep me really happy and controlled, which I desperately need help with when I'm home, so I always ignore him when it comes to that. If I were ever to date, the guy must be fluent in movies. I don't mind so much about the music ignorance so long as he is fluent in movies! Bleck, I don't like thinking about these kinds of things. I'm signing off !