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You've got to forgive me for this cause I don't have my sketchbook. You've got to understand that it's like my safety net and she took it away. Was it worth it? I honestly can't say. I've fallen so behind without it. Not so much in an academic way because I prolly would not have done well anyway but more in a sense of getting better or even remaining stable. If this continues, I don't know if I'll go home for Christmas. I honestly can't say. I feel terrible.

I talked with Roku and Mayon like ALL NIGHT.... and it was epic. Seriously, one of the most fun nights I've had in a while. We're going to have an art trade, only I really hate making digital art so it'll be interesting to see if I can push myself to do it or not.

You've got to forgive me even though you don't know what it is. I'm not about to say it but I can say I've made a little dent that won't be repaired anytime soon =____= I think even if I had my sketchbook back, I don't think I could vent it out at this point. I honestly can't say though. Darling, I can't move on without them. I need to explore February while she still wants to be found out. If I wait much longer, she'll disappear forever, or a very long time. It took me the longest time to reign in September so please don't put me through the same torture for February. D> I really don't want that.

Hey bby, tell me truthfully... where do you see yourself going in life? Can you see a future in general? Can you really think that tomorrow you will wake up? Do you even think about such things at all? I've got a problem and I don't think you can help anymore. My hope is spent on the glimmer that I'll be able to vent at all. Each day I want to learn more about myself. To improve myself. Everyone else seems to be moving on and quite frankly it pisses me off. I'm so jealous and angry that people are growing up. It's like no matter what, I will need to grow up too. I shouldn't be grown up. I wasn't meant to grow up and I know this deep in my heart just as well as I knew that time that it wasn't my time. Can you honestly tell me that it would be better for me to grow up?