We were once so close
I could hold your heart in my hand
and you would not stray far.
My shadow you wanted to follow.
That is precisely what you got;
a shadow, a shell of me.
I thought we could always be together
falling one right after the other
and the day you asked to dance
my heart lept at the chance.
Blissfully unaware I wanted nothing more
than to own you, I took your hands and danced.
Stupid, stupid girls are we
trying to be and have what never can be.
I'm consumed with jealously
and you with love to me.
We should be torn from a tree
and hung indefinitely
but instead we've stayed,
together as friends, which I can't understand.
How can I stay when I know you're not true
and how can you stay when I make you so blue?
We're both in such pain
yet there's so much to gain
I make you laugh
you make me dream
and together we feel like unbeatable team.
I repent for my sins against your heart
and lament for the sadness that's grown in our heart.
I'm jealous and hurt
but it's only my darkness
desperately clinging to own you again.
I repent this dark dream I send your way.
I repent any tears I've choked from your neck.
And I lament that you're happy living far away.
It's true, I wanted to dedicate this to you, oh secret person in my life but I can't. I honestly can't do that to you. I can't write an entire entry about how I feel or dwell on the past, whether it be good or bad. I just can't do it anymore. I'm tired of venting about this or you. I can't take it. I'm not giving up on you but I'm tired of trying to battle with myself over this. I don't want to feel anything towards you anymore. I'll just be the kinda friend that rolls over from now on. And unless you ask for my honesty, there's nothing wrong between us. Ever.
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Fragmented Self who wanders through life like a dreamer and wades through the river of dreams as though it were the only truth left in this world
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