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Everyone says that love can be the best, or the worst thing that ever happened to you.. how do you know until you've actually fallen in love? I'm not one to speak, I know that because I've never loved anyone outside of friends and family..

Maybe that's what's been on my mind.. my friends, my family.. everything is trying to divide, to sperate and make me choose one life over the other.. isn't there a solution to bring the two together?

I'm so excited about making my graduation dress, and about the 8th grade trip before graduation.. being with my friends.. but then, why does that bring me such sadness?.. It's because of fear. I'm scared that once I leave them, we'll never be as close as we are.. around 30 miles seperates me from my home town, where my friends are. I don't know anyone here, and frankly, I don't know If I WANT to know anyone here..

High School is suppose to be about having fun with your friends.. that's what I hear anyway, but I guess it's not so for everyone. I'll still see them, once in awhile on weekends or breaks.. but when you feel as if your friends are the only ones you have left, it's hard to move on.. I've accepted what's gonna happen, I just don't know how I'm going to react to it, no one does..

People says it's because I'm love sick over some boy, yeah right. The only guy I hang out with is one of my best friends, and he and my other best friend are probably gonna be hooking up, I'm happy for them.. just.. jealous I guess that I don't have that same happiness.. I truely don't try to sound selfish, and I don't think anyone can call me selfish when they're no better..

Thoughts inside my mind whirl around in a jumble, crossing eachother and mixing my emotions.. I dont know right now, except for, life sucks, but we all have to get through it, one step at a time.

heart ~Missy.Sue~ heart

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