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I was so upset yesterday that I drew.

I love the pictures. They are sketches of people from the new roleplay I joined. It doesn't matter that I've played this part before, they make it interesting. We make plans and talk about our days. I am happy when I can talk to them. I don't like the slow days.

So, I'm going to see Moneyball Friday no matter what. I might ask the guy from Myth class if he wants to come with me then we could study. If not, I think he'd want to study with me at the very least. Either way, I'm good. I know my myths really well so this is easy for me. He seems to be freaking out. Lawlz. But, he studies and knows his stuff... he just... doesn't know everything. I don't either. Hell ******** no. I don't recall facts on the top of me head. Hell, I haven't even read all the chapters. I need to. XDD So badly. I'm so behind.

I hate perfection. It makes me sick to my stomach. The very word "success" does make me sick. That is a fact. I get the butterflies and if it's used in succession, numerous times, I really do feel SUPAH uncomfortable. I cringe in the inside. Disgusting morals. People make me want to just... ugh annex all people in existence.

Whelp,
I bought vodka malt drinks so that I can force myself to sleep whenever. I don't think I'll have trouble sleeping, though soundly is a a different matter. My roommate's cell phone keeps disturbing me. It only has happened like twice, within the time of these two months but it's hella annoying if you go to bed with a bad mood then get woken up by that s**t. I'm SO SURE it was a text message. ********. She doesn't get up till after I leave. There is no ******** reason her phone should be "ring a ding ding" at 8 in the morning. Hey, it's only ten minutes, but I want my ******** TEN MINUTES!
When I'm about to wake up I'm at my most vulnerable...

[/ rubs temples] Oh~ the guy and I talked again today. Was nice.

I tried to get a new HB pencil cause my current one looks like the old fashioned nub that secretaries would keep in their hair... ew.... but the school was out SO I went to Westlake center, when I didn't want to walk any ******** place, and checked the art store. They didn't have the type of pencil I needed. [/ long sigh] I grabbed a few groceries and waited AN HOUR (no joke or exaggeration there) for the bus to come then went home. I dropped the groceries off, exhausted, then went to the Muni to go get my damn pencil from Blick. I fell asleep in the Muni. Woke up, got my pencil, waited for the Muni. Oh, M Line.... you enjoy torturing us. "M Line Outbound followed by K Line" No M Line. Three K Lines. Two J Lines. M Line comes. You sad, sad, sad little person. I hope you are happy with torturing us. You certainly do it frequently enough. I didn't go home. From there I went to the Annex, where I am now. Why? Even though I'm hungry and prolly in need of sleep greatly, because our internet is s**t and I'm an addict. I am so addicted to Resort World and roleplaying with these people. It just all... makes me so peaceful and happy. I feel so sure about myself the rest of the day.

Am I depending on these devices to deal with my self? Probably? Maybe? Internet allows me to communicate without being face to face. I get to talk to people I am already positive have the same interests as me, more or less. We have at the very least one subject that interests us and all else we get to find out. Real world, hmm, well there's the constant screaming in my head and desire to dance/play music all around the place. I want to get noticed there whereas in this place, I just want to sit in the moment. So then... I escape the pressures? Possible. Or is it possible that I simply take pleasure here more than in real life. Not possible. I have had days that match to only the most fanatic Gaian days. That first date with Josh, playing Mahjjong, New Years with my friends, the Halloween Party Dev brought me to, my 21st Birthday....

y'know on the subject... I kinda wish my friends had done something... ah well. College kills those plans. Still, I want to celebrate with them like that kind of height one day. Perhaps this winter break? Andrea will be 21 ... maybe she would like to go to a bar/dancing place. That would be a blast <3 We could catch up while looking cooooool~ and sexy and we could dance... well I dunno whether she would want to or not but I really want to buy her a drink and take her someplace <3 I miss her. [/ rolls around] I'm bored with this...