A New Month
My month in a review: Had a panic attack and several anxiety attacks there after. Started getting paranoid and hypochondriac over the smallest things. My blood pressure shot up more than it has been in a long time. Got mixed up dating two girls that turned out to be not too bad when I caught it off. Told myself I wouldn't do anything like that, that I would be all straight for trying to avoid that, but I did it again. Been through a week of depression, lost confidence in myself over fear that something seriously would take me and kill me. Had the flu for about two weeks which I thought could have been something else. I'm now getting headaches nearly everyday, different parts of my forehead, lingering for hours, freaks me the hell out since I normally don't get this way. Could be stress and all that jazz causing me to get this way with anxiety. Don't see how all this can give me headaches.
What I hope for this month: I see a psychiatrist next Tuesday and that should give me some relief from my headaches and my pains if I talk it out someone. Hopefully he won't diagnose me as some hypochondriac or a long term anxiety disorder. Honestly, I can't tell you what he might say. My life has been getting back to its' former self since those anxiety episodes. One thing I have learned is that I should be more in tune with myself and not totally ignore what my body is trying to tell me, but sometimes you may never know what's wrong. Worst comes to worst, I shouldn't fear all these feelings and emotions. It's just my body working like it should and not some big terrible disease. I have never been dizzy except working out, but that's normal. I never fainted, had a seizure, stroke, brain tumor, and all these other wacky feelings when I get for my hypochondriac self. It's really nothing, all in my head. I know I am still probably going to be anxious when something is happening to me, but just gotta let my emotions loose and keep calm. This month, I hope I will get totally back on my feet and be able to enjoy myself.
