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please lords, take away my heart.
Take away all the memory of feeling.
Please give me back my dreaming.
Take away this heart and leave me with pain,
so long as I have those dreams.
Do not leave me with this one singular dream,
one that jangles and launches itself at the walls of my skull.
My brain bleeds with the fear.
He qualmed it that night.
He released me from the fright,
so please,
take it back.
Take it away.
I don't deserve to live through the terror all over again.
Day in.
Day out.
I remember the terror of waking up beside him
and thinking
"my gods, I have cursed him."
I did not even really like him that much
but he was gentile and sweet and so much better
than to deserve to die with me,
cursed.
Cursed.
I couldn't stand that.
I could never...
I was so relieved and overwhelmed with love.
He put his arm over me and told me I was alright.
He was afraid,
but still... he comforted me and held me.
In a moment where that was all I needed,
a human touch and reassurance,
he gave it.
He does not know how much it meant to me.
DO NOT TAKE IT AWAY FROM ME!
Such a significant moment,
such a wonderful feeling.
Please,
I beg of you,
do not take away that comfort.
Take my heart,
take my life,
but do not take away my budding feelings.
Do not take away my peace,
which he has bestowed on me so gently.
His warm kiss keeps me alive.
Do not take that away from me.
Do not make me run.
Do not let me run.
Do not.
Please.
Please...
I ask you kindly to aide me in resolving this Lords.
I ask that you take away my heart.
Take it, and give me dreams.
Give me somewhere to wander.
Give me back my freedom,
to dream
to love
to be.