Mood: ....Just calm.
Currently Listening To: "Over My Head (Cable Car)" - The Fray
Currently Listening To: "Over My Head (Cable Car)" - The Fray
As much as I really hat to say this: It's been a real shitty week.
Okay this entry is depressing, but I just need totype it out. It'll lighten up later, I swear. I know nobody needs any more bad things, huh?
Well, my friend and I had a huge conflict, and on Monday, I learned that she cut herself again. So she's bee ndoing to doctor and conselours and all, and I feel really guilty. I was just so angry that she'd break the promise she'd made to me that she'd stop.
I just don't understand how cutting works. If you aren't aimimg to kill yourself, why take pain to get rid of pain...that'll always come back?
Anyways, after I saw the actual cuts and her going through all this council stuff, I just...I dunno. I was real quiet. Tuesday at tennis practice, my coach pulled me aside. Since knows all the details, he asked me how I was doing and if I was okay.
For once, I felt someone noticed my problems, and not someone elses, asking me to fix them.
I told him I was doing okay. I couldn't lie and say I was doing great, but I couldn't say that I was actually doing horrible, either. I hate making people worry. n.n;
So Wednesday, I was real stressed. The night before I couldn't sleep because I was crying. I really don't know the real reason why, I just cried a lot. At school I punched the lockers and the bathroom wall (A very UNLIKE TESSIE thing to do). I told coach about it, and he asked me if it hurt. I honesty didn't punch the wall hard (I was surprised the lockers didn't dent, though) and I said a little. He said, "Then what have we learned today?"
"That punching the wall and the lockers is stupid."
"Well, I'm happy that you didn't do worse."
Also, that morning, my OTHER coach, Coach Hidalgo saw me in the halls when I was walking to first period (this is before the locker/wall incident). My friend Cody kept leaning-like against me, and she saw me and smiled and said, "Don't learn on her, she's under a lot of stress." And in my head a was like 'Thank you.'
Don't underestimate the teachers. They know you. n.nNow I'm glad to know that they do notice and care about me, and everythings really not how it seems, which is "Tessie is Teyheal's b***h and if Teyheal is depressed, then it's Tessie's fault and she has to fix the problem."
Well, now that's the COUSELOURS problem.
My friend is seemigly more happy, so I'm very glad. They said it's because of her irregular period. She hadn't had it in 6 months, and a doctor took her off these pills she had been prescribed a while back to take, and now she's bleeding the stress away? xD Seems that way almost.
Buuut, then we're piled up on HUGE projects for school. Plus I have commisions. So I'm seemingly going to take FOREVER to finish Josh's comic, and the other commies are going slower than usual. I even have a big project to work on over the break, so HOPEFULLY I can still finish up my gaia works.
I <3 Gaia. When I'm on, I feel like a better person. I feel like Iia. xD Getting along with everybody (I try to get along with everyone at school. <3 It's working. <3) I really wish I was Iia. o.O For one she's pretty. xD Ok, stop. But I really love Gaians, and meeting new people.
Like the Avatar Sketches Thread (AST)! Even though I think my art sucks compared to many there, I was really glad that I got a lot of support from the people there! ^_^ I don't think I'm realy close to everyone yet, but I do consider everyone a friend. Like Tugg, Nat, Yuki (not RP Yuki), Katch, Paper, and some others, too. I feel a little insecure there, because I feel like I'm new hanging out there, but I love everyone there, and I hope that one day I'll be closer friends with them! (though I think they're all older than me. @w@)
By the way, best wishes go out to VO and Nat. <3 Love you both.
Now for the RP with Yuki:
@w@ I think that Kyuu and Jasper are so cute together. xD Just like...they always have little humor fights have the same peronality....which Ryo is totally MPD. He actually IS MPD. >w< And he freaks poor Cody out.
Vaati talks alot around Zephyr and Mina, which for me is to show that Vaati has her own person in her, just her life has been preventing her from showing her.
Jaymie, Jaymie, Jaymie. xD I have plans for Jaymie that will happen way later in the RP. It would be way later than now, but I have kinda pictured it all. Question is, for whatever happens to Jaymie, how will it affect his family, friends, andmost importantly, Merrie?
No big plans for anyone else as of right now. x3
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and ryu REALLY freaks me out XD