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Spur of the Moment
Things that I Miss:
The Sound of Music, bottling beer with my Dad, drawing with crayons, mixing my fingers in paint, the sound of the Christmas toy with bells, the sound of my cat as he breathes heavily in his sleep, the warmth of a hug, when the cold rain drenches you, lying in the sun on a towel and feeling the gaze of men, curling up with a book, running my fingers through a girl's hair, singing a song while driving, looking out the car window at stars, the rush of the night wind in a car, the scent of my grandmother's first house, looking out my window in the morning and seeing finch birds, the birch trees outside my window, the innocence of washing a car, riding my bike through suburbia and getting every where I want to go, sitting around a campfire, sleeping in a tent under the stars, talking on the phone for hours and coming up with new inside jokes, the smell of Andrea's old home, the smell of the park after rain, walking around the creek, kissing Josh, waiting in doctor offices with hope in my heart, the fluttering of my heart on a diving board, the dull thud of the speakers underwater in synchro, smell of ego buttermilk waffles in the morning, the smell of Saint Francis in the morning, excitement as you drive to school, wonder at a Professor, golden delicious apples, the very first time you taste a Fuji apple with lemon, nectarines in the summer heat, a juicy watermelon with seeds, swimming all day in Calavaras so that you need to float on your back you're so tired, ping-pong in Calavaras, early Saturday mornings at the Ranger stations, dissecting literature, assigned Shakespeare, assigned myths, writing essays for English classes, the taste of Gatorade after a weekend soccer match, hanging out with kids younger than me, the smell of the after school program trailer, hearing tests, walking hallways before classes, assigned lockers in school, sitting by a locker on a rainy day, the clammy feel of our uniform skirts on rainy days, wearing a thin sweatshirt and skirt on a cold day, amphitheaters, home phones, children's doctors, allowances, the anticipation of football games, spending days in Borders reading their manga, flipping through books of cd's, cleaning my room in the middle of the night because I couldn't sleep, waking up because of a nightmare, barricading my door, scrunchies, volleyball tournaments with my Dad, haggling with my Dad over what to eat during a tourney, setting up camp before a volleyball tournament, the innocence of checking out youth adult fiction books at a library, fitting in the trains at the library to read in a nook, making braids with the flowers ( weeds ) in the fields at school or during softball games, going to pizza after softball games, playing with Barbies, mashing up the meatloaf for my mom, watching Emperor's New Groove in the hut of Petroglyph, cleaning my grandma's silver, wrapping presents for grandma at Christmas, watching Saturday morning cartoons at my grandma's house, taping InuYasha at night, dancing around when Sailor Moon movies play the opening, hiding soda cans from my mom, hanging out with friends during lunch, working as a data-input clerk, stealing dum dum's from the bank, the smell of the bank on an afternoon as your parents speeds through the drive-through, driving up to grandma's, falling asleep in family car trips, meeting with TJ and Matt in secret, speeding over to TJ whenever she needed or wanted me, the smell of TJ's house, Dev's hug, the way Dev's eyes smiled, watching Jordan mess with her computer or play games, listening to Five Iron Frenzy or Roper as I play Windwaker, playing Sims on the laptop, the smell of the night after a volleyball practice, the burn of a good volleyball conditioning, my Dad's special music mixes recorded from the radio, the Taurus, the Jeep, dancing in the window hoping to get noticed, wishing to be saved, wishing to become a Cardcaptor, bringing movies to school in secret, waiting in a classroom before 6 am just to hang with friends, the smell of St. Francis during the early morning hours, walking with friends to Starbucks before classes, treating friends to Icees after classes, wandering supermarkets with disregard to social rules and common courtesy or conduct, the burning heart of rebellion within me, sleeping in the lap of my girl friends, passing on manga to another person ( converting them ), wearing pleated skirts, trying on Prom dresses, saving up money, summer school, after school stores, school dances, the smell of the night air, the chill of the night air, crying over Fruitsbasket, chilling in the library at W.T. Eich before school, walking to W.T Eich from Sierra Gardens every morning, carpooling, trick-or-treating, girl scout camps, the innocence of roasting marshmallows, the ocean at night, the full moon's glow, night bus rides to Sac from San Fran, myspace, the Blockbuster that used to occupy the place Dimple resides in, the Hollywood Videos that used to be next to the diner on Douglas Street, skipping out of school for "doctor appointments" but really going to the movies, the absolute terror of a blacktop in the dark of night, Ferris Wheels, hoping with all my heart to present my parents at Parent's Night, book sales, smell of Sierra Gardens, excitement of making crepes for dinner, innocence of going to Leatherby's, smell of the zoo, smell of the cabin in Calavaras, bunk beds, reading Marlfox and other Redwall books, making forts downstairs, the pull out couch from downstairs, climbing trees, making forts in trees, catching grasshoppers in the summer heat, waking my Dad up to go to school, bulldozing out of bed, bug in a rug, playing with my blanket at synchro, dolling up for competitions in synchro, playing at the park near Karlie's house, admiring Mindy, looking after Isabel.
I think that's enough for tonight.
I don't want to sleep but I'm sure trying some art should help with that.
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