I finally left the ward on Saturday. Things went over the top well with my mother. We cried a bit and didn't fight, which was surprising. Her main message was that she was bothered I had lied to her and suffered all alone for so long. She was very encouraging about starting my life over a little slower this time.
I have been optimistic since getting out of the place and ironically, it pushes people away. At first people were pushed away because of how scary I was but now I am so optimistic that they don't want to bring me down. Funny ain't it?
Since being back, I've taken it slow. I don't have much time where someone isn't around to keep tabs on me. Maybe an hour or two but not much longer. I exercised with my Dad one day and most of my days are spent trying to clean out my boxes to furnish my room. I have really old stuff I am cleaning out and the whole process helps clean the spider webs from my mind. I couldn't remember much after getting out of the ward and I'm slowly remembering things. I accidentally agreed to a date that I told myself not to do a long time ago. I didn't remember and now I feel terrible. I want to be friends with him but since I've teased twice, it hurts me more to say no again.
I remembered that I want the electricity. I won't settle for anything less.
View User's Journal
Fragmented Self who wanders through life like a dreamer and wades through the river of dreams as though it were the only truth left in this world
 |
