I celebrated the New Year with Christy, reuniting us. Andrea cop'd out, but that's okay. We went to a bar and danced, which I've NEVER seen Christy do. She was pretty fun. lol. I'll have some good memories of us together. I was secretly really happy that we went somewhere where I was not distracted by guys. I liked that it was focused on being in the moment with friend and family. I didn't like that we left so soon in the night ( 12:30 ) but it meant we got to watch a movie, FTW. The movie was pretty cute. If Christy had stayed awake for the entire thing, I'm sure she would have laughed more.
I released Dev from my ignored list today.
Christy brought up a good point about my sketchbooks. I sketch a lot about Dev and tj because I have a lot of issues around them. I am still dealing with a lot of things between us. In contrast I have almost no sketches of Christy or Andrea because things are totally fine. I do draw when I'm happy, rp sketches are proof of that, but I don't generally think of making characters based on my best friends due to the fact that I don't think my life is worthy of a comic. I had to create an alter ego of myself to even draw something like myself. I also don't like the idea of being trapped in some paper. I don't want my soul stuck there. The things I draw are okay because they have a higher purpose. I don't like drawing myself. I don't even know who I am, not really.
My New Year's Resolution or Goal is to date more. I had a revelation that I'm going to have 5 great loves in my life - Five Supernovas as I am calling them. I've already had one: Josh. Supernovas have that electric connection. Even if I love a guy, he only counts if we have that connection. I'm not pressuring myself but I do want to be more bold if I find a possibility. I shouldn't let Brandon slip through my fingers either. One day I'll get the nerve to kiss him!
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Fragmented Self who wanders through life like a dreamer and wades through the river of dreams as though it were the only truth left in this world