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Cali Cal.. You were the hardest to let go. You were the second longest friend I've made on this site. And I'm sorry that I didn't skype with you when I was a drunkard.. I want to believe you wouldn't be like shil was, and woulda stuck around. But you were fun to be around. You were the main reason I came online even, hell, only reason I GOT SKYPE. But seeing you and yet not having you talk to me for weeks, multiple times you just dropped our conversations, and blaming it on skype (which I can see happening half the time you say) I just.. started to feel like I was a burden to you. That's why, I doubt the bridge can really be repaired.

It's the reason why you were also the reason I stayed away from the net.. because seeing a friend who just wasn't there to chat with.. well, it hurt. Also, Here's some tough love for ya Cal.. I don't think you'd make a good therapist/psychiatrist at all. Why? Because who really wants to cut all ties with everyone when they're on the precipice of depression? Only one who's going do one of two things... suicide or emotional suicide. What I meant by recentering myself is that I'm closing off myself from everyone, everything. When you don't care about having friends, you willn't hurt from not having any, or false ones.

That you let me go so easily.. proves that you weren't a good friend. And yes, I see how this is an a*****e move, and dramatic and 'attention whoring" but.. I figured I'd let you know.

Also.. here's what YOU should have found out.
I was a sad drunkard. and what I revealed to me and shil is.. deep. Just follow the white rabbit...
I'm so damn lonely that it does hurt, deeply, I stay up every night and sleep as long as possible because I yearn for something I know willn't happen. Someone who'll care about me. Someone who will acknowledge that I exist and hold me. I miss human contact, and yet, I'm afraid of it, Because of that I loose myself in fantasy, and sleep, where everything is forgotten in darkness of dreamless sleep.