Spending time with my boyfriend is fun at times, but roleplaying has been a passion of mine for a long time now. To have to choose between the two is ripping me apart. I shouldn't have to choose between the two.
In my dreams, TJ haunts me. I ******** hate it. I'm sick of it. It IS ******** BULLSHIT. She was there and I remembered that "her house" looks like Andrea's house, but it is at TJ's address. "Andrea's house" is a columned library like house, but it is at her correct address. I think it means that I felt TJ's house was my second home because growing up, I always assumed I could run away to Andrea's house. I planned it in great detail how I could run away and live with Andrea's family for the rest of my life. I wanted to get away for a long time. Point is, The vision of Andrea's house is my safety place in my subconscious, but it is associated with TJ still, which is absurd because I don't feel safe with her. I DO, however, still feel that we are soul mates in that friend sort of way. She knew things about me that no one else did and we just got each other. It just clicked. It has never happened like that before. I work hard with most of my relationships to meet in the middle, to entertain, to keep things flowing, and even though it is rewarding work, it is still work for me to keep going. I could just stop. I could stop everything, if I wanted to.
I could stop.
I could stop.
I can stop.
I can'tswon stop.
stopstopstopstop
stop.
I get it.
I'll clean.
We'll clean.
Oh. So I've also wondered, since I may know how to kill Sakura, what would have to come to pass so that she would take over? I mean, she is a part of me after all. It is entirely possible that she could get enough power to really become troublesome.
It would be nice to have a time machine.
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Fragmented Self who wanders through life like a dreamer and wades through the river of dreams as though it were the only truth left in this world
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