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Happy notes.

Grandmother not coming to my grad party. I tried to talk to my mom first about it and she shooed me off by insinuating that I needed to get over it because my grandmother was either too bothersome to dissuade or that family functions would be too hard if I kept acting the way I was. Thus, I pouted and continued my plotting inwardly about how to get around her coming ruining the party. To which, I planned to evacuate the house once she arrived and stay at my neighbor's house with my friends, where we could play CAH and sneak food from my house without anyone really noticing. Essentially they would be having a graduation party without the guest of honor because I WILL NOT BE IN THE SAME GODDAMN HOUSE AS THAT ******** WOMAN! Achem. I'm not childish about it.

Anyhow, after my brother came over, who offered no help to the matter at all either way, my Dad came up from his cave and talk to me about the issue. Now, this grandma thing became an issue when they told me two nights ago that she was coming then that same night I had to go on a walk because my thoughts were running so fast. I broke down in the middle of my walk, had to sit down and cry, and called Christy to calm me down. The idea of her being at my party is so traumatic that I broke down in the middle of my walk. I don't mean that I was upset and went on the walk, crying shortly into it. I mean that I didn't know what was wrong except that my mind was reeling so I went on a walk then on the last street, on the way back towards the park, I broke down.

My Dad told me it wasn't worth having her over if it made me so upset. Hey. Mom. WHERE WAS THIS WHEN I TALKED TO YOU?! I mean, I know what to expect with them, but it still is disappointing when it;s something important to you. I still find myself lecturing her when she flips about my homework ALL. THE. TIME. It's like, how long till you learn? adapt? listen? But important thing is, my Dad was super nice about it. He listened and understood. I even compromised by saying she could come to Xmas ( I'm totally gonna ignore the s**t outta her though and I pleasantly daydream that I get to slap her or something, bwhahahahaa )

Second cool thing?

Dev.

It's... an open conversation. It's a possible relationship that we might restart? I am not really against it or for it... that's a lie. My heart is, a little giddy because anyone that has known me would know that she meant something to me. I mean, I drew pictures of her! There are so few people that can be included in that list. I... have the sketchbook she gave me. I, so many heartfelt memories. I hope I don't get carried away. I just know there is hope and it feels good.