Everywhere I go I take them with me; people who I lost and pets who I loved. In other religions the dead usually goes to an after life place such as heaven or hell. Some even believe in reincarnation that you're reborn after you die. I don't really believe in any of those things. In my mind at least, once you die you're only ever really remembered through the last people who remember you. When those last people die out you'll eventually be lost in time.
It really bothers me for some reason when someone tells me that someone I lost is in a better place now. I'm not sure why it does. Maybe its because it feels like hopeless optimism, that after death you're off somewhere even though realistically you're just a rotting corpse, in a fancy box, in a hole in the ground. The only thing realistically that's left of them in this world is their legacy and how people remember them. Unless you immortalize yourself in history by being nobel prize laureate for example.
When I was younger I was so focused on being great and have a legacy that will live on even after I die. I strived so hard to put myself out there whether its in my music or writing, in everything I do. So that when my passing comes, timely or not, I can live on further. Now I'm older it really feels like that it doesn't matter anymore. I'm just tired and, I really don't see a future for myself. I'm just existing and living one day at a time.
I lost someone dear to me two weeks ago, now I carry her with me wherever I go. I have to keep on living so that her memory can live on further. Even though sometimes I just feel like I'm better off living as a form of a memory in others. At the very least this book will immortalize me until Gaia shuts down.
-A.A.M
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My Book
I've been writing in this since I was thirteen in 2007. I still am writing in it, and it will probably be my legacy till the day I die. (Don't start reading from the beginning as my writing was atrocious then.)
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