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Oh, hello!
I'm not sure who you are, or where you came from, but nice to meet you!
Are you afraid of barging in?
Or is it that you feel uncomfortable in this strange place!
Don't worry; this has happened to me a lot!
You'll be waking up soon, refreshed... I hope.
I guess I should be explaining to you exactly what's going on, then?
Alright.
This is the inner sanctum of my sub-conscious.
Dreamers occasionally wander in here out of relief.
Or perhaps out of curiosity?
In either case, what I do is tell them a story of a fond memory.
I find that it makes them at ease.
So... who am I, you ask?
Yes, that is a good question.
Please allow me to introduce myself.
A welcome guest deserves one after all.... ahem.
Good Day! My name is Yula Prisserim.
And Welcome...
Prophet Destiny:
Meeting
Every day in my old Village of Sithro was precious and memorable. Everyone was interesting in their own way, and the surrounding environment was beautiful.
Fields, flowers, and a pond. There was truly much of nature's splendor to enjoy.
Everyday in the open field, I would talk amongst the other children. Everyone would have their own story about their day to share, and I would listen in anticipation.
My closest friend at the time would be a red-haired girl with sparkling sapphire eyes named Arienne. She was always ever curious, but that's part of what made her endearing. Another reason we were close would be her impressive empathy. However, I admit that it had it was not without its consequences, which sometimes embarrassed me to no end.
Interesting enough, everyone in the village would praise how mature I was. I admit that it's flattering, but it bothered me at times. It made me feel... different from the others, somehow. And that always made me a little uncomfortable.
Still, it was something they admired, so I was still content with this reputation. Some explained to me I had a deeper understanding of things. Others felt I was more emotionally developed. The most embarrassing explanation by friend Arienne is that, well... I was a romantic.
I guess... even to this day, I still think that way... and it still something awkward to talk about.
So each day went on like a usual routine. I would gladly talk with the others; explore the outside to study nature's wonders, and share the rest of my day with Arienne.
And then, there was that boy who was always reading under the shaded tree.
He had short, raven-black hair, and brilliant ruby eyes. He always wore this interesting crimson poncho over his casual robes, which added to his mysterious image. In any case, he never really approached the rest of us, or even utters a single word. There was this vaguely solemn look, and yet he seemed content being alone under the darkness.
I used to wonder... was he truly happy that way? Being alone under that same tree everyday? I look at him, and he honestly looked engrossed in his books. I guess it would be rude to bother him. I would only make a nuisance if I were to interrupt his reading. He would prefer not to have anything to do with anyone. Especially me.
Still, I could not help myself but to watch him at times. Just in case.
Some days, I would actually speak to Arienne about him. Of course, she would always giggle when it came to that. “
You like him, don’t you? You wanna meet him, don’t you?" she would always tease me as she grinned with delight.
Honestly, I wouldn't know how to answer the first question. I really didn't know him. But I guess... I did want to meet him. It was strange. I did see him smiling at me in a dream once. Actually, it was perhaps one of the most gentle smiles I've ever seen, but it was merely a dream I may have created from a fantasy.
At that time, Arienne had her own curiosity towards him. He would try at times to approach him with open arms, but then he would walk away. I could feel the frustration from his aura. It was clear that he was upset. And that further discouraged my own curiosity.
After her failed attempts, Arienne would return to me and express her disappointment. She was always teary-eyed when she spoke with me, but it was only a manner of minutes until she returned to her usual happy self. There were times where she told me that I might have a better chance at approaching him, but this seemed absurd. Sure, I've caught the attention of most of this village, but this lone boy is different.
For most of the time, I would just leave him be to enjoy his reading under the shade. I felt that it was for the best.
But then came a fateful day that the curiosity got the best of me.
I wished there was more than the mystery that drew me to him that day, but that was it. I was mostly curious, and somewhat concerned, so I ultimately felt foolish for so many reasons.
I gazed at him, and the shadow the bathed him. The closer I came, the more compelled I came. It was an unusual sensation, even fascinating to a point. But the closer I keep, the deeper he withdrew. This uneasy pattern continued until I felt urged to kneel right next to him. Like a frightened child, he brought his knees right to his chest, and concealed his entire face with his book.
At that point, his aura was overflowing with anguish. I sensed so much fear and pain swirling within him. It was as if very prescience throttled him.
No. Somehow, that's exactly what I was doing to him. He was suffocating, all because I wanted to be near him. He hated me, and it was my entire fault.
I was afraid to confirm this, but I felt myself drawn even deeper into my curiosity of him. I felt myself coming closer and closer, until I paused.
This was wrong. I knew that, and yet I still advanced. I realized I violated him.
I decided it was enough. Hesitantly, I inched away slowly until I felt I was far enough away. I then brought myself up, but was far too ashamed of myself to even look at him.
"I'm sorry..."
That was all I could say. I knew I had done something horrible, that I never should have approached him in the first place. I knew he wasn't the kind of person that talks to others, and yet I still came over out of foolish curiosity.
At that moment, I felt someone looking at me. I raised my head ever so slightly to see that it was those familiar ruby eyes, staring at me and so full of pain.
I wanted to do something for him. I wanted to fix the mistake I made, and yet what I really wanted to do most was cry.
It was terrifying. All I did was stood there, unable to do anything but witness his bleeding eyes.
Why? Why does it have to be this way?
The one looking right into my very soul is so distant! I want to be near him. I want to be with him and make everything better. I wanted to know everything would be okay, but my touch burned him!
I still found my heart cry out to him. I wanted to stop, but its whispers would not cease. Deep inside, I still wanted to know him. "Will you let me understand you?" I kept asking in my mind, but the confusion let me disoriented. I was desperate to drown out my own cries. It was only bothering him.
I took a brief breath and tried to make amends.
"I'm sorry," I said once more. "I can see that you want to be alone, right? I've always seen you reading out here, all by yourself, so I thought that perhaps some time, you wouldn't mind some company? But I see I was wrong...."
For some reason, I laughed to myself afterwards. I suppose I was trying to relax, or lighten the mood in some way, but he still glared at me. It must've looked like that I was mocking him.
"I must sound like a fool right now, huh? Of course. Here I am, thinking you might want some company, only to learn how wrong I was all this time."
Of course I sounded like a fool. I was a fool all over. I wish I had never even tried speaking to him in the first place.
I laughed at myself at that moment. My shame grew. My regret grew. I just wanted to leave, but I had to save face if I was to assure him my apology was sincere.
"I was... thankful to at least be able to talk to you like this. At the very least, I won't be able to bother you anymore, so please be thankful for that. I'll... just take my leave now."
And so I turned my back on that ruby-eyed boy and headed back. I understood at that moment that he would remain a mystery to me, that I was never meant to know him. He would remain under that tree with his books as long as I could see him.
Ultimately, I had sacrificed my curiosity in order to preserve what happiness was left to him, but I knew it must be done. It was all done because I wanted to make him happy somehow.
It was all I could do to repent for my one fatal mistake.
Surely, I was about to move on and try to forget what has transpired, but then, I felt something tug at my arm.
My heart skipped a beat. My anxiety grew as I grew increasingly uncertain how to react at that moment.
"Wait..."
I turned around. His ruby eyes gazed at me somberly, but I sensed much curiosity from him.
"I.... I'm actually quite grateful that you came to me like this."
It was the first time I heard his voice, and I was amazed. It was so soft and gentle. It was perhaps the kindest voice I've ever heard.
"Please... won't you stay, even if just for a little while?"
I felt my mouth form a small smile as a mysterious sensation overwhelmed me. I didn't understand exactly why it was back then, but I was certain that was one of the happiest days of my life.
Out of great earnest, I nodded in response.
On that day, I felt a whole new world open up to me.
The mysterious young boy with this raven-black hair and brilliant ruby eyes,
His name was Gades Rubiss.
He showed many beautiful things that I failed to see before.
He showed me the wonders of magic that his father had taught him.
He showed me his brilliant symphony of flame,
And he showed me brilliance in the darkness.
He revealed to me many mysteries,
And I was touched.
But on one special day,
As the both of us laid underneath the shady tree,
He rested his head upon the trunk, and I saw his face:
Open, yet guarded; soft, yet solemn; pained, fearful, yet hopeful.
It was the most beautiful thing I ever saw, and I found myself drawn even deeper to him.
I inched closer and closer, knowing very well that he could do nothing. Before I knew it, our lips met his. It was a brief moment, but a meaningful one for me as I quickly drew back.
It was strange.
Why did I do that? Was there even any point in doing that? I knew we were close, I knew that he intrigued me, but I had no right to do that without him knowing it.
It was the most awkward moment since the day I met him, and once again, I was fraught with guilt.
I then curled up and gently rested my head upon his lap, and slowly closed my eyes.
"I'm sorry..." I whispered in a soft voice, right before I myself was taken by the realm of dreams.
I did a lot of thinking since that day.
I felt many new things since I've been with him.
The sensations varied from being harsh and inviting.
I was scared inside,
But I was happier then I ever thought I could be.
It took me a while to realize why all these conflicting emotions swirled inside me,
but then I knew.
After spending so much, yet so little time in wondering how it would feel when it finally happened, it came to me.
I was so young, that I once thought it would take ages for me to truly experience it for the first time, but I did.
Yes, I was in love with him, and to this very day, I still am.
 Chicken Yuki · Thu Jan 11, 2007 @ 04:43am · 1 Comments |
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