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Is it the clean sheets on my bed,
The soft pillow cushioning my head,
The feeling of my mattress holding me up,
Or the weight of my blankets covering me,
Every night it’s the same as always,
My eyes close but my mind roams endlessly,
I can’t sleep even though I feel like I might pass out,
My mind takes me far away from where I am,
I watch as it takes me through blackness,
I don’t know where or why my mind leads me away,
I can see stars out my window,
Which can only mean my eyes slide open at my leave,
I stare out my window as I watch the moon raise,
I roll over and close my eyes again, leaving again,
The darkness fades into a sunset over an ocean,
This is how I know I have arrived finally,
I feel as damp sand cushions my feet,
It has just rained, in this place,
But where did the rain came from,
The sky is clear here,
I sit in my white sleeveless dress on the sand,
My eyes watch as the sun lowers in the orange sky,
I listen to the waves flow back and forth,
The salty air fills my lungs as I take in the place,
The breeze quietly passes over me,
Leaving me shivering as my hair dances on my pale skin,
The feeling I have in the pit of my stomach lingers on,
It keeps me sane in this place I’m in,
Like a reminder that I don’t belong here,
I close my eyes tight for I know I must leave soon,
One tear escapes my eyes as I lose my grip here,
Another tear falls onto the sand below me,
It starts to pour even though there are no clouds,
I feel something warm cover my shoulders,
As I turn to look, I see a young man leaning or me,
He smiles brightly as rain drips from his golden hair,
He warms me with that smile,
He takes his hand and wipes away a tear,
The rain stops as he smiles again,
He extends a hand to me with another warm smile,
I reach for it but can’t reach it,
I try again but my hand falls short,
The sky disappears above me,
Same with the ocean and sand below me,
Without knowing I start to fall into darkness again,
One last time I reach for him but can’t,
White wings like an angel’s form on him,
As I continue to fall deeper and faster into the darkness,
The last things I see are his bright blue eyes,
One last tear falls then I wake,
I sit up fast and see there’s a cold sweat on my body,
I see that its morning already,
Once again I have not slept,
Once again I lost him as I fell,
I walk to my window and stare at the last star,
‘Save me my guardian angel’ I whisper softly to the sky,
I know I will see him again tonight,
But I feel empty without him here beside me,
I feel I need him here with his warmth,
With his smile,
I touch the cold windowpane and look away,
I walk away and look back one last time at the star,
‘Save me…’ I whisper as the star twinkles away at the rays of the sun.