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It was about 12 and i was going to head off to bed. I put my headphones in, pushed my puppy over to her side of the bed, pulled the covers over only my torso and closed my eyes. Except i couldnt sleep...I ended up listening to Justin Nozuka and at first these lines for a poem came into my head. Then when i was finished i had the sudden erge to draw. No I don't know why but i just HAD to. Well anyway i pulled out my sketch book, grabbed my sketch penciles, eraser, and sharpener then i started.
Now it was about 2 when i drew my first picture of this guy and girl holding hands like they didnt want to be parted, like they really loved eachother and didnt want to leave eachothers side. The next was was of this woman, she was pregnate so she was holding her stomach, but she was crying. She had lost her baby from her boyfriend or husband beating her.She also wore a neckless that was silver, and had this dimond dangling from it and she also had rings on.And one was on her wedding finger. The next one was this slender mid-age woman who was getting thrown up agains the wall. Her Spouse was in a suit and tie and threw her to the wall and was yelling at her saying "What the hell were you thinking?!" and as she leaned against the wall to keep her balance she was sobbing and through the sobs she was saying "I'm sorry". But there was also a child behind the man crying and screaming for his mother. And the mother was thinking "Please watch over my baby..." Which is the son thats witnessing her getting abused. The next one is this girl, seems like a teen, she is holding up her shirt till the underline of her chest, and showing the bruises underneath her shirt. Her head was down and she didnt look directly at anybody. She was slender too, wore a simple gold neckless around her neck, and had amazing eyes but they were covered by her hair. The funny thing about
Now when i finished drawing it was almost 3 A.M. I really dont understand why i'm drawing these things or thinking so much about abuse...I really dont understand whats going on. The only time i feel truely happy is when i go running with my puppy, and thats about 15 to 20 minutes everday which doesnt seem like enough. But once i'm back at home my mood changes and i feel sad, and depressed,and all i want to do is sit on my bed, listen to my music that is either sad or has to deal with having a perfect relationship, or watch romance movies. I think i need help...help from someone who will understand whats going on and help me figure all of this out...
I also wrote this poem just before i got the urge to draw those pictures. I don't now what it's called, or even if its a good one but here it is...
With every smile and every kiss
My heart skips a beat
And that's what i'm going to miss
The way your lips pull back into a smile
And the way your eyes sparkle won't mean a thing unless i'm with you
Your arms kept all harm away
Every word your spoke was the honest truth
and for that i thank you
I just wanted to say the simple words
Thank you
Because no matter what others said
you've kept me under your wing
Now i want to say one last thing before i let you go
And i hope you'll understand just what i mean when i say
"I LOVE YOU!"
 Jazman-2 · Tue Jul 08, 2008 @ 08:03pm · 0 Comments |
