Right now I'm sick to my stomach 'cause right now I'm very emotional and kind of hating on myself right now. I wish I had a job, be able to drive, and be more accomplished in school. If I was, I'd able to move around more freely.
My current situation is the fact that I'm not getting along with a friend due to the fact that she's letting the whole "being a adult" get to her. Go ahead and say whatever you want, but it's not that I'm jealous or anything about her being eighteen.. It's because she's bagging on me with this whole me being selfish and a child. I'm only being "selfish" because honestly I need to serve myself first rather than her, due to the fact that this is my body and my life, and I do have my problems of my own(small or big). This all started 'cause one day she brought up that her dad got into a diabetic coma in the morning.. At first you know I didn't know what a diabetic coma was due to lack of knowledge in the health department.. And she assumed that I "brushed" her away, basically ignoring her. Honestly I was a bit, but I was and still stressing about things, and I didn't know what to say but, "That sucks." If I said "I'm sorry" it sounds like it's my fault and that just doesn't sound right.
Okay, well... This crud started going on for the rest of the week. First day she attacks me about how basically I'm horrible and selfish, as well as immature... Second day, she brought up how I'm always negative towards myself and whatever. The third day, was just about her complaining how I wouldn't talk to her. Let me clear up a bit more about the third day... I was telling her that when I go to independent study, the people I would really talk to were my friends Kay and Jake, 'cause I talk to them mostly especially on the computer.
These things are a bit too much and here's the dumbest thing of all... This s**t was always discussed on a piece a paper.. As a friend, you think you'd be able to tell me this in my face, but you rather discuss on paper? On top of that, I'm being misunderstood and she pointing fingers at me. The property follows: "What comes around, goes around." You point a finger, and three point right back at you. Okay, I'm done ranting about this topic... It's pointless.
What I'm really worried about is my friends, Mel and Nic. Their parents are getting a divorce and it's killing me. I wish I could be there and be able to support them, but I'm all the way down here. On top of that, I hate divorces 'cause my mom and dad had one... I know that it was for the best, but I hated the reason why my dad left. It makes me mad thinking about it 'cause he couldn't even drop it and stay for the love of me and my sis. He just was a coward and a dumb fool and he still is. I regretted talking to him 'cause now I'm totally scarred and I despise him more than ever. I want to be a better person than him 'cause I wouldn't let such small thing get between what matters to me the most.. I would love my children with all of my heart.
...Sorry, I went off a bit.. but seriously. If I had the money, I'd fly up to them and be there even if I don't know what to say.. I just want to be their friend and be there and listen to every word they have to say and hold them.
Au Revoir Hope Community Member 
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