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To him...
Dearly beloved,
There's so much I want to say, that I just can't put into words. It's hard for me to get through life without thinking about you almost every second. Every day, I sit in my classroom with the hope that you'll pass by, even for a second. And when you do, as you do everyday, my heart leaps up as though it was waiting for you to pass. When we're in the hallway, walking past each other, I hold my breath, clench my fists, and pretend not to notice. I have to resist the urge to spin around and see if you're looking back. I wonder if, when I'm gone, you wonder where I am, and if you'll miss me when you have to leave. I know I do. But you're not mine. Why should I care?
No matter how hard I try to get your attention, you give signs that I can't even comprehend. I can detect a stranger's lies, but I can't understand you. Yet, you're sweet. We have a lot on common, but we're very different. Opposites attract. You make me worry about what I say and do. You put weight on my heart and tears in my eyes. But it's okay. I'm able to get through each day. You'll always be two steps ahead of me. But, for some reason, I'm always trying to catch up. I try to tell myself that it's impossible. That you would never feel anything for someone so broken and corrupt; insane. I want to get over you and accept that it'll never happen. But you're too nice. Why do you have to be so sweet? Why do the little things you do make me smile? Laugh? Cry? It's because I love you. But I'll never be strong enough to say it.
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redface I just really wanted to get that out. It's a new version of an old love note. But, as I said, I could never say it all to him.
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