Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Behind every person, there's a shadow. Behind anger, there's tears. Behind hatred, there's jealousy. Things aren't always just one straightforward emotion. Intense anger could just be pain hidden by embarassement and fear of crying in front of people. Why does that make us so weak? There's an answer waiting to be found. Behind endless laughter, there could be a weak spirit, that doesn't want to feel so worthless. A spirit that wants to hide away, and not show anyone how much pain it's really in. If you lie, there's some truth about it. You lied. You felt some reason to lie. Jelousy, hatred or anger. Lying proves in vain, and so adds on the heavy burden that follows you everywhere.
In the shadow, there are things you put behind you. There are things you don't ever want to change no matter how easily it can be done. Let me lie for a bit. These are all true, but they're false at the same time: Old habits never die. Once you've gone far enough, it's too late to change. Once heartless, always heartless. You love nobody, so nobody loves you.
Don't pity yourself in that way. You have more reason than anyone else. You just need that little push. You just need that little bit of hope. Old habits can't die. Living things die. Habits can be made into good habits.
There is no end to your journey, so there's no telling how far you can really go. It's never too late to change. You have chance after chance. You just need to take advantage of those chances.
You're not heartless. You wouldn't be able to read this if you were. Your heart might just be empty, looking for someone to fill it for you. Once full, you can always welcome more.
Who said you love nobody? You may think that, but deep down there's a reason you're still breathing. Somebody does, indeed, love you. You probably just haven't met them yet. Time is connected, so give it some time, and you'll have a reason. Love is just a feeling, but it's meant to be felt. If not, then you'd just be wasted. Make the most of what you can, and protect the future. There's more to life than we know.