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I am not going to share about my vacation week. I had a fun time but there were also downs to it, a normal vacation.

I'll brush against your shoulder and turn around but I won't see anything. I am always changing, that is how I am. I am in a time of my life where I am figuring out who I want to be and what I like or don't like. My mom told me that she doesn't keep in contact with any of her friends from high school and I am tempted to do the same. I just get so frustrated. I know they must get frustrated too... I just don't know what to do. So I am going to shrug and drop my mom's advice at the door.

My parents were never really home while I grew up. Me and my borther were almost never home in the beginning because of sports and camps. We went to ater school centers and our Aunts' houses a lot. When my parents were home, my mom would cook then watch her television shows then we'd all go to sleep. Sometimes my mom and dad would watch movies together. They used to sleep together and kiss a lot. They still do kiss a lot and live happily married as far as I can tell but they don't sleep in the same bed due to my Dad's bad sleeping on that bed. My brother used to be home alone more than me becuase I had volleyball keeping me away.

I have to admit, I like being active and busy. I whine and complain a lot about alwaysbeing busy but most of the time I really enjoy myself, truly. I still like to lie and be loud. Guilt is still my killer inside. I cannot forgive myself nor be forgiven because I won't ask for forgiveness. I cannot ask for forgiveness for something that I do not regret. I do not regret it because I am generally happy with where I am today. How can I ever get rid of this guilt if the previous statements are true? I would love if some of this guilt was gone.

I have bigger boobs that are noticeable now. It only proves that I am still growing. It still makes me a bit sad to think about that. I am trying to get a doctor and get an appointment so that I can get that and my hiccups and general check-up done ASAP. I have a flat stomach despite eating a ton. My thighs are still big but... I don't really hold that against myself. I am okay with my body image right now. I now have bangs that look rather cute on me. I got my hair cut right before my vacation and stole the scanner from my house so that I now have a scanner and no excuse for putting art on deviantart.

There! Now you know I don't want to neglect you...