Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

So, I have been watching Sly Cooper videos on YouTube because I borrowed the game from Matt, and it reawakened my passion. I have recorded a few sound clips and songs from it. So, I saw this AMV of Sly and Carmelita put to Bad Boy by Cascada. Sure, it's not great, but the lyrics are pretty nice. Nice is about all I can come up with. I mean, there's other things I can say, like badass, awesome, excellent, ******** tight, etc. But, they just don't go with what I mean. Lol

It also woke something up inside me. It's probably another young lust thing, but after Sophomore year and all the girls I was lusting for, I've learned that lust is about as special as a fly landing on your leg: it happens, but there's no use going for it. And if you do, great. You smashed ONE fly. Or, you kissed a hot girl you just don't care about. I've confused lust and love so much that it seems like neither are special anymore

But, I was at Bigfoot today, and Scriven said something. I don't remember perfectly, but I'm pretty sure it was something like "When love comes along, you'll see how special it is." How will I ever know? I'm kind of a jerk and almost a redneck in my own special 70's way. I'm about to get an honest-to-God mullet; I love Aerosmith, Rush, and Guns N Roses (until they became Velvet Revolver); I drink beer, and I'm pretty rebellious even when I'm being submissive.

Point being, do I even have a chance? If some girl did love me, they wouldn't know. Because I'm too much of a jerk. Now, Topher brought it up, and I take SERIOUS offense to it. But, the honest truth is that I pretty much am an a*****e. Te only one who agrees perfectly with Topher is this one girl, but she's insensible from what I know about her.

What IS good about me? Well, let me try. I guess I'm kinda cute, I'm relaxed, I have AWESOME hair, I'm looking kinda like Scott Weiland, and I'm pretty cuddly when I'm not pissed off. Wow, FIVE compliments in one day. That's pretty good. Are all of those true? And will they ever help?

Maybe that song makes me think, "What if a girl sees me and starts lusting for me?" Chances = LOW. VERY VERY low. Sure, it could happen, but when? This is High school, it's about learning new things. I'm 16 and I've been single my whole ******** life. (Kelsey doesn't count) I've never kissed somebody. I couldn't be anything to anybody. More or less because I'm probably not something a girl wants. What makes me who I am? Rock music, guitar, video games, and that's it. I like 70's and 80's rock, nobody digs that s**t anymore. And I play games like Crash, Spyro, and Tekken. The currently dead franchises.


So, basically, I don't think I have a shot at love, but I'm still trying. Yep.


I'm gonna go listen to some Rock