Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

So she finally popped. Big freakin deal. She aint the first woman to give birth. She wont be the last. Let's see her give birth with no doctors to help, no painkillers, and then have to get right back up and go back to work. When she does all that, then maybe just maybe I'll have a lil respect for her. So now she has her own brat to play with. Good. She can keep her filthy hands off my son. Let her corrupt that thing of hers. If she doesnt kill it first. She seems like the type. She killed those other babies. She can lie all she wants, but why are so many people saying the same thing? Something they claim SHE told them? Red headed whore and her filthy mongrel child. Hope she dies of an infection and the baby goes to foster care. That would be justice.

Lee spent the night at the hospital. Meanwhile, I'm taking care of our son and praying nothing happens to him while I'm away and Lee is missing. I needed to talk to Lee very badly but I have no way of contacting him. All the numbers he gives me are useless. So he stayed with her. Held her hand. Probably held that other child too. Bet he smiled and was full of joy. How sweet. Where was he when I was giving birth to his first born? Who was holding my hand? Who was telling me it was gunna be okay? Who comforted me while I cried and screamed and begged for it all to stop? Who was the first to hold my son and look at him with love in their eyes and the sense of accomplishment? Wasnt him. All I had was my mom, but I only had her for small amounts of time. Eight hours full of fear and confusion and pain. I begged my mama to call him. I begged her to force him to see me. I didn't care if he thought it was his or not. I just wanted hime there. I just wanted someone I cared about to tell me I'd be okay. Someone besides my mom to hold my hand when the contractions would hit. Instead I had strange people whose names I cant remember yelling at me, my mom telling my horrible things in my ear to make me push harder, and a small voice in the back of my mind sobbing.

Things will change. Not for the better either. I have to save my son before it's too late. That female will kill him.