Hey,
Do you remember the day we first met?
I can't...
But, in my heart I feel like it was fate. Is it silly to believe in such things? Because even though you're gone, I feel like one day we'll be able to see each other once more. Just like that first time.
I know now, if I were to see you, I would cry and want to run. Isn't that just silly? Even though you've always been strong, I still think I'm stronger. Maybe that one day I'll be able to prove it. One day, I'm sure I'll prove that I am stronger. For simply surviving this isn't enough.
The stabbing feeling must have been slow for you and hard to endure. But, perhaps the quick severing was even worse. Because... unlike you, I didn't know it was going to happen. I didn't have time to numb myself. I... get the lasting pain while you run ahead of me.
Your scraping nails across your throat never made it to my ears, but... is that my fault? Am... I to be ... forgotten because... we couldn't meet in the middle?.... I .... never wanted to say goodbye. My scraping nails across my throat did not make it to your ears either. What a pair we make.
The words will come one day from my heart. The... words of hate will escape somehow. Until then, I will continue to cry "I ... still love you." Now I know you must be laughing. Ha... to be so forgiving. You would surely laugh. No denying there is anger but... love cannot die. And I hate that even more.
So until I can say those words to you, I'll just train. I'll keep studying. I'll stretch my heart and ears so that if one day... if perhaps ... one day you cry for me, I ... might hear those tears and smile so that I may cry with you.
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Fragmented Self who wanders through life like a dreamer and wades through the river of dreams as though it were the only truth left in this world
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