I never got to hold you without you dying.
Never got to confide in you the things I had meant to--
I didn't get to tell you I could be what you needed
Or ask, even, what you needed. (I guess it wouldn't be me anyway)
I wanted to eventually go "This is Shaun, my boyfriend." (Don't laugh)
I didn't...I didn't ask how much it hurt when I slapped you (I didn't want to know --I couldn't)
It's just I wasn't sure how to tell you it hurts when /you/ call me "Seventeen"
When I wanted more and I wanted to be /me/.
I guess I didn't get to /know/ you. (Is that bad?)
I knew I was in love, and you can't bother telling me it isn't possible.
I guess the one thing I did get to was love you...
Valentine's Day never rolled around for us. I had wanted to embarrass you.
No Halloween or anything either. Do...Did you celebrate anything?
I never got to take you drinking, heh, what do you even like champagne?
Never got to give you that massage I wanted to give you since I saw you sitting in your chair.
I wanted to relieve some of that stress I must have caused.
I didn't ever work up the courage to ask if you /really/ hated me.
I hadn't asked what you were going to do when this was all over. (Does it matter now does any of this...?)
Did you like anything besides history? I never really bothered to ask did I?
I never asked if you got scared about things too.
It's sad. Even when you were dying I couldn't be strong.
I never really helped you sleep soundly either.
I had it so nice, we, had it so nice.
It wasn't supposed to be you. If anything I thought I'd go first.
Make some stupid mistake you warned me about and you'd scold me for it and I could go. I could die instead.
Is it dark there, like Altair said?
...
Even now with the Animus it makes no difference. I can't change a damn thing.
What would you change?
My thoughts, my reality, is scattered.
I'm trying to have no regrets, not to dwell on the past, but that's my life isn't it?
Living in the past.
I never said "Thank you"
Never "I'm Sorry"
I'm leaving. I hope I'll find you.
Now I finally get to say "Good bye."
 Zi Kimizuru · Sat Jan 23, 2010 @ 09:57pm · 0 Comments |
