I'm in recovery mode. I'm depressed and I know it. It's the same as always, crying at several points during the day, lack of motivation to even do things I love, self-hatred or worthlessness, and lack of sleep. I start sleeping less and divulge in more of my bad habits. I'll reboot soon, I promise.
There are many things that weaken the soul and I wonder if memories are one of those things. I know that songs and pictures or certain tasks can weaken the soul. I'm actually working on putting a playlist together that weakens my own soul. This way when I need to have my recovery time, it may be quicker. Perhaps talking about past things and even going to therapy is weakening my soul? I weaken myself before going so that I will be more open and need the therapy but in doing so, am I just returning myself to a state of constant need?
I would love to write a poem or post right now. Or even moderate my threads like I am supposed to but... I can't. I can't focus at all and every time I reach out to try something, I feel numb. My feelings are that of movies and my enjoyment/goals are held in a disc and achieved by going to the next level or completing a new quest. I am mostly in poke'mon right now... it helps.
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Fragmented Self who wanders through life like a dreamer and wades through the river of dreams as though it were the only truth left in this world
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