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as to why I cannot stay home for long-

I play the mediator between all members of my family. I am the rock and the glue that they cling to, they depend on. But in depending on me, they forget to acknowledge the same weaknesses as they see in each other. And because those weaknesses are ignored and I am merely their thing to depend on and use, I do not feel like a real person in this house. I am the doll once more.

I would love to get away. I would love to see my friends or depart somewhere, far far far away. But I won't.

Been drawing a lot. Playing my poke'mons a little at work (it's allowed). But basically my life has been work then eat then lay on me bed till I fall asleep. Oh, and occasionally I exercise. The other little bits of time I drive people around or talk. And it wears me out. I feel like my online life is usually this same process, where I live for others. Thus why I haven't even turned on my computer unless I wanted to download music (which has been the last two times I have been online).

I am kind of enjoying the solitude in my life, the sheltering of secrets and ignorance to the lives of my friends. For now, I think I'm fine with it. Just fine.