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I'm a really stupid girl sometimes. When I like someone or even start to like them, I say things I don't need to say to keep them interested. I reveal my jar of cookies and well, what kind of man doesn't like cookies? They stick around for the wrong reasons and I lead them on. When it comes time that I finally want to get to know them for the better reasons, they've still got their hands stuck in my jar.

I love to walk around half naked. Whether it's topless or bottomless, save for some skimpy panties, I ******** love it. There's like this rush like you're a nymph. Someone could catch you at any moment and besides that, there's the knowledge that you're ******** hot and might be turning them on. Always a big plus for me. C;

My cookie jar is amazing. I didn't end up making the actual jar but I should have. I don't know how I would design it...

Such entries in the cookie jar include: drawing on each other, Ferris wheel ride, skinny dipping, reading a book, chalk drawings, etc. Don't understand how those are cookies? Allow me to elaborate...

Chalk drawings is a pretty innocent one but still pretty romantic for my mind. It goes for a whole bunch of situations. Like if I were upset, boi (yes, they almost all involved a boyfriend rather a friend) would give me some chalk and force me outside. It wouldn't matter if he sucked and he would prolly point out how much he fails or some funny thing to cheer me up. Then if I get into it, he lays down in front of me with chalk offered so that I would trace him. If I don't he stares and lays there, unmoving. Lol like an a**, until I agree to trace him. When I finally do, he demands he can trace me next to him, so they are holding hands. ******** retarded idea in my mind but he's so ******** into it that I agree. He's got that goofy grin I love. Some stupid thing that says, "y'know, I ******** adore you" nfianwfjnes fangirl. Even if he were to draw all over the things I draw, I think I would love that he were out there with me. Even if he weren't out there with me, if he knew chalk helped it would be nice. He could bring me a drink for after I'm done or sit and watch. Or take a picture when I'm done then hose it off while spraying me "accidentally" a few times. Yes, my mind loves to create these imaginary memories for the future. Little dreams and things to wish for. Situations to live for. For love. For happiness. For sorrow.

My cookie jar. It's for like distracting myself. When I go to work, I think of all kinds of situations and things like this. It's entertaining and uplifting. Allows me to be so bubbly. I like it. It doesn't feel like a burden. Feels easy, like brainstorming. It's not like set plans. They aren't my future but they are a future. They are something out there, floating around.

[/ shiver] the word "future" still freaks me out