The Morning musk,
the lecture in my head turns violent.
"Don't you pity me"
screams the music,
in a sad attempt to shut me up.
Memories,
how I wish now that nostalgia
would claim me, eat me whole.
Better than the lecture.
Better than feeling like a let down.
Better than facing my failures.
Better than me.
Who am I but my failures?
They matter as much as the success.
I worry these little grades will topple me over
that they will sink any ship in the future,
as though it weighs in a balance.
I worry that I am heading down a wrong road
that I will disappoint everyone else,
because I have no dream for myself.
No dream other than to keep living.
No dream other than to find burning love.
A hellfire love.
But I hold that deep so it doesn't hurt.
I hide that away and shy away
so that even there I do not face failure.
After all,
I fail so often these days.
It can't take my dark dream...
not that dream
or I should perish.
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Fragmented Self who wanders through life like a dreamer and wades through the river of dreams as though it were the only truth left in this world
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