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It's a full moon. I knew it. Only... I can't see into this moon. It's so bright that I cannot look straight into it. It hurts me. It is an ill omen. Not like a bad moon just.. like something indescribable. It's not bright or happy or lonely or warm or even a harvest moon. It doesn't have a dark ring or an ominous feeling or terrifying. No, it's just... upsetting to me. Not like... a bad moon or something just it troubles me that I cannot look into it like normal ;___; get it? It hurts me... I ... I want to see the future images. All I see is this bright light. That scares me that the death is my own.... D> NOOOOO

But, I do feel a death coming upon my life. Someone is going to die.

Ah! I watched Green Mile tonight ^^ or should I say this morning XDDD It put my mind at rest but brought up more ill thoughts like this morning. I thought of her. I know, I lectured myself too. It's like she wasn't that amazing anyway. I know why I dwell on her but I wish I didn't. Every now and then I really sink into it and think back. Like I've taken to thinking about when we were first getting to become really good friends. When we would walk around my Dad's offices and talk about her ex from Texas. It makes me wonder if she used all my secrets to gain popularity among the other girls later on.... we talked about Gaia most of the day that we spent at her Dad's work ^^ I remember we talked about pink links and boxes XDD so silly. We used to write in notebooks to each other a lot. I haven't thought about the mornings much... probably will later though. It's been one of those days where I dwell on just about every bad thing I could dwell on.

I thought about good things too. I started working on the cd again for Dev earlier this week, before all this came back. I tried to draw my girls and kept thinking about therapy. I thought about animating characters and what kind of characters I want to make for my roleplays. Mmmhm. It's not all bad. but it sure is exhausting.