There are natural things that people get curious about like drugs sex and alcohol. I am not curious of that stuff at all. At my age I should be but I want nothing to do with any of it. I dont see how stuff like that makes dopamine travel through peoples body and make them happy. I've never felt that or havent since I was a kid and its easier for kids to be happy because they don't worry about whats ahead.
I feel very not normal because of this. Just stuff I dont want. I fear drugs and alcohol too much to try them. Sex just seem too gross to me for some reason. For someone turning eighteen soon you would think I would want stuff like that.
I want to have joy I dont want fear. Fear is pleasant because it protects me but it might be getting in the way of me feeling happy for once. Dont sex or drinking- something is wrong with me. I dont know how to change.
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This Is My Life
My Journals have been mostly when I am stressed and want to write stuff down. I have grown up and now have more real life issues that I have to deal with almost every single day. I don't know when it will end but I will write until that day comes.
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dragonlover5
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