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Again, I close my eyes and start controlling my breath once more. I listen to our song, Lips of An Angel, feeling each portion of my heart open up and pour its contents to my skin once more. Everything slowly vibrates with joy as I feel it once more; Your heart beat connecting with mine

Remember when why this song became ours? I was in Shippo's old apartment, in his oldest brother's room and he had MTV on while he was out. I walked in to speak to you, avoiding Francis and Shippo from asking about you. You must have heard it and began singing it. I must have told you a thousand times just how much I love hearing you sing... I don't hear the mistakes you make or the out-of-pitch portions. No, what I hear is each word sung with your heart and laced with your determination to make it sound the best you can. That's why I always asked you to sing for me and only sing for me.

I remember trying to sing when you left the first time and how hard it was for me to get back into it. Each time my voice cracked, I felt you listening and trying to coach me once more... Only making each note open another wound in my heart. Eventually, I got over it and so many people wanted to hear me sing more and more... But I couldn't imagine myself sounding good unless you're the one listening to me.

My high-school talent show was the first time I decided to get on a stage to sing. God was I so nervous! Everyone watching me, all my bullies and 'friends', all just watching me and waiting for me to start. I think I would have stayed stuck if it wasn't for the fact I wasn't thinking of any of them; I was thinking of you. I was thinking of the whole crowd being you. Just how excited you would have been to hear me perform and how loud you would have cheered when I was done. I sung with my soul and everyone loved it, as far as they told me, but it wasn't their applause I was looking for; It was yours.

My favorite memory of all time, one that always swallows me in happiness and joy, is singing with you at the babbling brook in the park. I... I can't stop myself sometimes from having the memories of it happening like a child who can't stop eating sweets when he knows he'd be in trouble for doing it. How we shared their lyrics, danced in each other arms and smiled softly... The world disappeared for me and I was so much closer to Heaven than I could ever believe I was. I would do everything in my power to go back there with you to share more beautiful memories like that...

This year, even though we aren't together, I'm thankful for you. Thankful that I met someone who made this life worth so much more than I could ever realize. Thank you for giving me purpose and drive to become what I knew I could always be. Thank you so much for showing me what true love is and just how beautiful each moment with the person that you truly love can be. They are memories I can never forget and what I'll cherish throughout my entire life no matter what.

I exhale slowly letting my body return back to its normal, harden shell. Allowing no one else to access and no pain to enter so long as the walls stand tall. I slowly put back my mask and go back to operating normally. Before I slip back, I just whisper softly, I miss you, Silent.