God, this depression is just not lifting. It'll ease up a bit, but then not long after I'm back where I started. Work is exhausting (with a 42 mil jackpot, tomorrow is going to be worse)
I too often feel like I'm just being used by my b/f. I know its not true, and that he loves me more than anything. But when a day can't go by without him opening his pants and bringing my hand down. I mean, fine, I've got no problem with sex and all that. I like it, as most people do. What I don't like is him unzipping his pants and putting his crotch in my face, or my hand down them. And with nothing to lead up to it. If you wanna guide my hand there while we are making out, fine. But when we are sitting there, watching tv with nothing sexual going on, I don't appreciate it and it makes me feel used.
Am I wrong to feel like that?
God, everything is just getting me down lately. My shoulder hurts, Kevin won't stop complaining about his sore neck. And the greatest thing here.... I can complain about my shoulder and maybe once in awhile (not often) he'll give me a half-hearted massage. He complains and he gets a massage. Almost every time. Or at least once a day, if he complains.
Feels so one-sided to me.
And, I mean, I realize he does stuff around the apartment (vacuuming yesterday) and whatnot. But I go to work everyday and he doesn't. And god does that ever bother me. He almost has a job, but this is 5 or so months after moving here that he gets it. Which means I've spent that time going into work 5 days a week, even when I'm sick, so I can make enough money to pay bills and buy food. Barely enough. No money left over for treats, or presents to ourselves. No money left over to put into savings or anything. I feel like a bum, but a working one. Which just sucks.
AAARRRRRGGGGG
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