Fluck...thats all that I can pretty much say...
I didnt get my friends presents this year because they could get jelous of eachother...and the last thing I wanted was a fight among my friends...
Megan got me something and I felt bad because I didnt get anything for her...
making things worse...she...gave me a valentines day card...
plus I remember what it was that made me so depressed...her manipulativeness...and how little she was concerned for how I felt...she always forces me to feel like pure crap...and she dosent care...maybe thats what makes me depressed...
I keep sacrificing my own happiness for her...Why the hell do I do it?!?
its not like I gain anything in return...why do I keep torturing myself like this...I suppose I deserve it for being such a horrible person...
maybe I should turn back to cutting...the parental units are gone for like the week...I might as well relieve my depression with cuts...nobody is arround to send me off to the counsellor if they find my cuts
and they'll heal before they come back plus I can keep her happy if she dosent see them...she'll care...but only because her former trophy is getting damaged...
I just wish Kathy were here with me...at least someone arround me would actually care a little...
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on with your life and stop letting her drag you down. Got it?
And as for the cutting, it doesn't get you anywhere. The only thing is does is cause different problems for you wich adds more stress and makings every thing alot harder.
I love you with all my heart<33