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The Morning That Was the Afternoon
So I have a kitten. I can go two ways about this. I can woe and angst about how horrible I feel for my other cat or I can squeal ad gush about how cute he is.
So I'm going to completely ignore that issue and instead rant for half a minute about this morning cause I'm ******** lame like that.
Right. This morning (the second 'this morning' actually 'cause the kitten woke me up twice) I've eaten some cereal watching tv. The kitten's running around because my cat is outside (cause she's pissed as hell at me for bringing a kitten home which is why I'm sad D': ) and everything's alright.
Except for the fact that my cat won't hardly come inside now that she knows there's another cat around.
And because of this, I'm feeling as guilty as hell, I go out front to where I know she is. She likes to hide under the long bush on the side of my house lately and I'm calling for her to come out which she usually will if she's around. But she's not coming even though I know she's there.
So I bend over the bush, I'm practically laying on it, to spy for her. She's not hard to find. She ends up glancing at me and meowing at me passive-aggressively (don't ask me how I know, I just know damnit) so I sigh and go back inside.
This is the part I was originally going to start ranting about but I figured I'd add some backstory since it wastes yours and my time.
I'm sitting back in front of my tv, cereal bowl faithfully by my side, when I feel a tickle from my collar bone to between my boobs. I'm wearing a rather low-cut spaghetti strap top and my hair is down so I chalk the tickle up to some hair but when I brush at my shoulder area the tickle doesn't stop. No, it's still going and going down. So I look and there's a [******** spider the size of the tip of my [******** thumb heading for the underside of my [******** boob!
Naturally I screech like a banshee and swat at the spider with the surity of happy if retarded puppy trying to climb the bed sheets that the spider is going to end up crushed UNDER MY BOOB!!1!1 DDD:
A miracle happened at that moment. The spider landed on the carpet instead. Yay. 8D
The spider managed to escape under the couch though due to my delaying with my undeniable need to let out little half-squeals and ews and swatting at other completely un-spidermolested body parts.
I can never look at the couch the same again. 8(
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