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So, I haven't gotten a journal up in a while because of summer school. But, it's over now, and I should pass. I sure hope I do. But, this summer has been like a lot of others: My birthday happens, not much to do, try to hang out with friends, always being bored, hanging out with cousins. But, I had a ******** AWESOME AND PERFECT BIRTHDAY!!!! Cause I got tickets to an Aerosmith concert, I had the band over for my party, and we had PIZZA. The best food with my best friends and I'm going to a concert by the best band.

But, to all this, there is more! So, Dani, thank you so much for telling me happy birthday. I don't get that much, and it means a lot more than it probably should. Anybody else wanna say it late? Heheh. And I got 100 bucks from my grandparents, which'll get me a new amp.



It's a Line 6 Spider. Yeah. Spider amp. Not spider-man. Spider AMP. Lol. And my mom might be getting me a new guitar. There is a dark side to my summer currently, though....

There's this girl at summer school that I really love. That is, if you consider love to be a good stick shift, a condom, and a lot of kissing, then yeah. She's real hot. Sucks that it's over. Oh well. Maybe she'll be in one of my classes next year. And, you remember Mae? Just 4 hours ago, I was watching cops. This guy got pulled over and his girlfriend reminded me of her. For like no particular reason. I kinda like went numb and saw her in my head. As if she was in front of me. Then, I shook my head to snap out of it.



And.... I felt a tear run down my cheek.....



I was doing so well just forgetting her. She was a girl that came in the door of my life, and I was getting her out. And then, I just thought of her and I wanted to cry. I haven't thought of her and wanted to cry in the longest time. It's been so long, I can't remember the last time I thought about her like I just did. It was like some angel came and knocked me out with a bat and I saw something worthwhile for my summer for 3 seconds.

Which brings me to a pain in myself. I seem to have forgotten how to cry. Topher tells me it is POSSIBLE to forget how to cry. I don't know if I did, but it sure seems like it. Maybe I couldn't in that instance because I just thought of her and I realized....

.... I miss her....
I would laugh my a** off if she saw this right now


Makes me wonder if I actually loved her. But, Topher, Scriven, and like essentially everyone I know has told me I didn't. But, what if I do? Would that change anything? She has yet to forgive me, but what if she knew how I felt?

Chances are s**t, but what if she did? Think about that for a second....

Anyway, she just got in my rocker head once. She'll leave my summer in no time. Unless she calls me, in which case I'm gonna be all like, WTF?!?!?!!

And, by the way....