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I've realized that I don't understand what liking someone is.... I've been running around chasing girls and realizing they aren't for me. I have no work, no chores, nothing to do. Just a full Thursday to hang around and chill out. But I can't enjoy it because this is bugging me.

And Scriven has been kind of a d**k lately. Today and yesterday... I don't know why but he looks like he's taking it out on everyone. There's supposed to be a mandatory meeting for Dead Phoenix tomorrow, but I doubt I'm going... Not with the way I get treated by him and Sam, no thanks....

But, my real thing is, I wanna know what liking someone is. I felt like I actually loved Beth. Like seriously. She might've been the closest I've ever gotten to liking someone because I thought she was a great friend and I really cared about her. More than I've been caring about myself. But we don't talk much anymore...

I hope I have an Oracle Dream soon. A dream to tell me what I need to know. Someone who truly does know my sorrow and struggle and tell me how to pass it by. I'm so confused... And so lost...