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I HATE YOU

If we were such good friends,
if I was one of those few people that knew another side of you,
WHY DIDN'T YOU BOTHER TO SAY GOODBYE!

God damn ********. God damn you. God Damn.

Dev you're a little b***h.
I just,
tonight I just HATE you.

I went to your old journal entries,
cause I wasn't on MY account.
I remembered the nice things.
I remembered the sweet things you would say
and how we could lean on each other.
GOD DAMN YOU DEV!

god damn us both.

Sometimes when I feel weak,
I tell myself that I was only a tool
like all those other Seniors you told me about.
And that perhaps you were working for Teej all along.
Or that you chose her over me in the end,
cause that is so easy to believe.

I mean,
in my weakness I'd love to believe anything.

In my strength,
I know better.

You outgrew me.
You felt like we no longer related to each other.
You felt like I only stressed you out and used you.
The constant flip of my moods was too much and
the reason you never said goodbye was because,
I wasn't worth it and you were too scared.
You thought I was still pissed at you and wanted to avoid the drama.

I get it.

But in my weakness,
it is so much easier to tell myself that,
in the end you never loved me.
Because if you had loved me,
you would have overcome anything.

Afterall, I did...