|
he puzzles me
I need to take a break from life itsself. School, family, trying to find work, its all so tiring! I saw my son friday and saterday. He's learned to walk. i'm so proud. I wonder if his dad is as proud as I am. I wonder what he does with our son when he sees him. Does he take him to the park? Does he tell him he loves him and will always be there? Does he spoil him rotten or is he strict? does he actually take care of him or does he pawn my baby off on his mother? These are questions I'll never get answers to. If only we had stayed together. What happened between us was awful but if he had tried to make things right..... I still love him and aalways will. I dont really want to be with him anymore. Im happy with my husband. Hes a good man and he loves my son as if he were his own. I dont want my son calling him daddy though. No more than i want him calling my ex's new b***h 'mommy'. I wonder if he ever looks at my profiles. Does he ever think of me? Does he hate me for all I've done or does he pity me for what I've done to myself? I know his female looks at my profiles. She messages me. I ignore her. I have no busines with her. She likes to threaten me alot. I don't make threats. Only promises. Its strange and i wonder....I made a lil picture for him once. It's still posted on his myspace. He also keeps a poem he wrote for me. All the other poems are gone but that one. i guess cuz it doesnt name me specifically. Still....Why does he keep those things? I heard he still has all the gifts I gave him. Locked in a box and hidden away. Why not just throw them out? Ive kept the things he gave me. The class rings, the butterfly necklace, the movies, poems and love stories. i even have a vase filled with whats left of the flowers he gave me for our 2 month anniversary. He was always so sweet like that. Why wait for once a year when we could celebrate every month, every day if we wanted? He was so full of life. I see where my son gets it. He has his father's charm, and he's loving soul. I don't deserve either of them.
|
